I was looking at my reviews again on Netgalley, and I'm just going to accept that they are real reviews. Because really, they probably are. I think just seeing similar things happen to other writers freaks me out a bit. However I'm going to address why this worried me.
This will be third time explaining what the other shitty thing a fellow writer did to me, but I felt that I should in light of my troll listing. Lol. I mean not everyone is going like you. I'm opinionated and that has always gotten me into trouble. So here it is.
I was feeling a certain kind of way. You know when you feel like someone is condescending to you constantly, not in front of others of course, but when it just the two of you. You confront them about it but they always have a reason why they aren't condescending so you think it's you who is misinterpreting. Except, you weren't the only person who shared the same opinion of this same person (there were other former members of the same group you were both in).
Yeah, I was feeling that way about a person who I will call . Why did I stay in the group? That's easy. I was a new writer who knew nothing and no one. I was having a shit time at my job. My parents were ill (and at one point died a month a part). Writing gave me hope, and they were the only writers I knew.
This is a writing group I was a co-founder of, one I paid money to keep alive when everyone was moving--before the wordpress days, back when we were using blogspot and Oovoo. This group formed in 2008. I left around 2014 or 15
So my side of the story...I told  that I was returning to the group after a short hiatus. She said she'd speak to the others in the group, which I had a feeling was coming because of the way she was acting toward me. I felt it. So I went ahead and asked all the current members on my own if they minded if I returned. Everyone was welcoming, even said I didn't need to ask.
The next time  and I spoke, she told me that "we decided it wouldn't be good if you returned." Because she had told everyone she didn't feel comfortable because I was like her boss.
We both volunteered on a project, one we started together, which was RLR. Her reasoning didn't make sense to me because we had I published two people in our writing group. And I was actively a part of the writing group during a lot of the time RLR was up and running.
I was livid to say the least. Emailed her and the others and said a lot of stuff, some things I shouldn't have said. I brought up what happened between her and a friend of mine, but really my anger was less about that and more about her manipulating me out of the group. She retained the group because I looked like the asshole. I apologized to all of them including her more than once and more than I should have, but it is what it is. That's not the worst of it though.
I may have said a lot of things in anger but I didn't go after her work or her job or anything like that. I said what I said privately, albeit in front of her friends. I blogged about it but I didn't use names; it was benign. Plus no one reads my blog. I have a handful of followers who read my blog. She wrote to my fiscal sponsor a letter accusing me of "engaging in slander against other writers." The letter was hand-delivered to my fiscal sponsor in Santa Barbara. It had no return address, no stamp,
no signature. Actually, it was signed "writers against slander." As if there were a multitude. I was even more livid and told her off again. I have the emails. So you know, who is the liar here?
It's important to note that my fiscal sponsor--a professional--asked me about the letter. She showed it to me. I explained to her who I thought it was and why. She stood by me.
Anyway, it is what is. I got put on a troll list because I think Junot Diaz's was unfairly targeted. One writer lied. The other one (the one who supported the troll list) exaggerated an argument equating it to assault. She then puffs up the case to "three assaults" but what are they? A picture of a woman leaning into a hug and an alleged groping on a date that occured years ago. I am for women. I am for survivors. I am sensitive to this case in particular for very good reasons which I won't address here but if you asked me I'd tell you. Well maybe I'd tell you. Depends on who is asking.
I am opinionated. I'm not perfect. I make mistakes. But you know what I don't do? I don't give fake reviews. I don't go after someone's livelihood because I don't like them. And really, if you are the kind of person to do those things, you need re-evaluate the difference between a good person and a shitty person.
At the end of the day, I am a spiritual person. I have a strong Christian background. I believe in karma but I also believe in mercy and forgiveness. This is the person I strive to be, a forgiving person. I don't want to talk about either instances anymore. Lol. I wish both of these writers well. Truly.
Below is my inktober entry for today. I'm not following the prompt list unless otherwise noted. I might post multiples to make up for the days I missed.